Muslims: Don't Get Excited

Look, just because I have declared myself Caliph does not mean I will look kindly upon you.

I am Caliph of All the World.  I make the rules for the entire world.  You do what I say; I don't do what you say.

Here are a few suggestions for Muslims to gain the Caliph's favor:

1.  Stop your nonsence.

2.  IF you are a "Religion of Peace," stop issuing a death warrant, or fatwa as you call it, every time someone tells you to stop your nonsence.

3.  If you are a "Religion of Peace," stop your angry rallies in which you carry signs such as "If you mock Islam, you must DIE!!!"  Come on.  For reals???  An alleged "Religion of Peace" making death threats every time a "non-believer" sneezes?  Oh, the drama.  Get over it.

4.  If you are a "Religion of Peace," stop the suicide bombings, the car bombings, the terror against those you call "non-believers," the ramming of hijacked airliners into skyscrapers, and on and on.  A true "Religion of Peace" does not do such things.

Are you starting to get an idea about why you do not have the Caliph's favor?

5.  Stop the Honor Killings.  In the United States, you have killed too many pretty girls in the name of your "Religion of Peace."  If you do not want your children to become too "Westernized," THEN DON'T MOVE TO A WESTERN COUNTRY!!!  Simple.  DUH!!!

6.  All Imams and Mullahs and Ayatollahs and other such individuals must be approved by the Caliphate and must have all of their sermons approved by the Caliphate.  No more preaching until you receive your Official License to Preach from the Caliphate.

Basically, should you wish to gain the Caliph's favor, exit the Americas, Europe, China, India, Australia, Everywhere and gather in Arabia.  That's where you started.  Gather there and await further instructions from the Caliphate.

I am the Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity.  I don't have to be Muslim.  See the first post for an article about that.  And despite the fact that Caliph is a Muslim thing, I am Caliph; I make the rules; and your job is to obey.  So, obey already!

Caliph Gary Gray, Supreme Leader