Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity

All the World,

Behold, I, Gary Gray, hereby announce that I am Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity.

No, I am not Muslim.

"But," you must be asking, "if Caliph is the spiritual and temproal successor to Muhammad, how can a non-Muslim become Caliph?"

Read this article first.

Minister wants Obama to become Ameer-ul-Momineen

Source: OUR STAFF REPORTER September 2, 2010

ISLAMABAD – In a development that could be duly termed as one and only of its kind, an incumbent Government’s Minister has urged US President Barrack Obama to offer Eid prayers at Ground Zero Mosque and become “Ameer-ul-Momineen” of Muslim Ummah.
Minister of State for Industries and former member Pakistan Ideological Council Ayatullah Durrani called TheNation on Wednesday to register his demand made to President Obama.
“The coming Eid would expectedly be observed on 9/11, this a golden opportunity for President Obama to offer Eid prayers at Ground Zero and become Amir-ul-Momineen or Caliph of Muslims. In this way, all the problems of Muslim World would be solved,” he thought.
Durrani argued that Muslim World was in “dire need” of a Caliph and the distinguished slot of Caliphate would earn President Obama the exemplary titles of what he termed, “Mullah Barrack Hussain Obama” or “Allama Obama.” “The time is approaching fast. Barrack Hussain Obama must act now. This is a golden opportunity, Muslims badly need it,” he added, saying that the elevation of President Obama to Muslim’s Caliphate would be the “key to success.”

http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online//Regional/02-Sep-2010/Minister-wants-Obama-to-become-AmeerulMomineen

 

So, in light of this article, it is obvious that Muslims seem to think that a Christian can declare himself Caliph.  If Barack Hussein Obama is Christian, as he claims in his transparence, and if this Pakistani government official seems to think that a professed Christian can become Caliph, then I should be able to declare myself Caliph.

 

Unfortunately, President Obama, Walmart, and basically the entire world did not get the memo that I am now Caliph.  (Note to self: Get new Public Affiairs person.)

 

And that is the purpose of this blog: to inform All the World that I am now Caliph.

 

So, bow down in fear and tremble before me!!!  You must do as I say.

 

Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity