Wow. 6 months? Really?
"They" still do not recognize my Supremacy. "You" still do not recognize my Supremacy.
It's obvious, really:
--Muslims firebombing Christians during Christmas celebrations. The American Reaction: (patting self on back) We shur is gud at settin' up a democracy-type guvment, ain't we? All the while that "democratically elected government" is taking orders from Iran. Very quietly taking orders from Iran.
--alleged "revolutions" for "freedom": The Muslim Brotherhood denies any knowledge or involvement, yet their "candidate" for "president" is in the lead in Egypt. These so-called revolutions are just another example of people using freedom, tolerance, and diversity to hoodwink US. All of the countries in that region with have a "revolution." All of them will have democracy-style "free" elections. The newly elected leaders will all be linked in one way or another to the Muslim Brotherhood. And they will band together to destroy US.
--bin Laden's dead: But it won't change anything. There are reports that he was merely the "tip of the spear." Pakistan celebrated the death of the great "freedom fighter" as he now transitions into "The Great Martyr."
--Kate married What's-His-Name without permission from the Caliph. Come on, now. He's just a sub-princeling, some Duke or whatever, the alleged heir, and his brother is the spare. I, on the other hand, am Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity.
--And, of course, Walmart and Chevron continue to refuse to recognize me as Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity. Maybe that's the source of the deepening despair, not the other nonsense going on in the world.
You still have not deposited my back pay.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sikhs, Buddhists, Others: Don't Get Excited
To You Others,
Although I am Caliph, I will not do the traditional Muslim thing and try to kill you all in the name of God.
Sikhs, I know everyone thinks you are Muslim. I know you are not. I know you have been fighting the Muslims for longer than the Christians have. And I know you have not forgotten like the Christians have.
Sikhs, Buddhists and Others, remain calm. If you are good citizens in my Caliphate, you have nothing to fear.
Pagans, yes, I am lumping you in here, too. Just be good citizens in my Caliphate, and you have nothing to fear.
Simple.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
Although I am Caliph, I will not do the traditional Muslim thing and try to kill you all in the name of God.
Sikhs, I know everyone thinks you are Muslim. I know you are not. I know you have been fighting the Muslims for longer than the Christians have. And I know you have not forgotten like the Christians have.
Sikhs, Buddhists and Others, remain calm. If you are good citizens in my Caliphate, you have nothing to fear.
Pagans, yes, I am lumping you in here, too. Just be good citizens in my Caliphate, and you have nothing to fear.
Simple.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
Christians: Don't Get Excited
Christians,
I had a blog telling Muslims not to get excited, so here's one telling you not to get excited.
I'm not Muslim, but, according to some Pakistani official, it seems to be OK for a Christian to declare himself Caliph. So, here I am.
I'm telling Christians not to get excited in the sense of "Don't get a big head," or "Do not take my declaration as Caliph to mean you can do what you want."
Same thing I told the Muslims: Stop your nonsense.
Work together as Christians. We are too divided. Protestants versus Catholics, Protestants versus Protestants... Stop it. Divided we fall.
And be nice to the Poles.
I am now Caliph. The world must do things my way.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
I had a blog telling Muslims not to get excited, so here's one telling you not to get excited.
I'm not Muslim, but, according to some Pakistani official, it seems to be OK for a Christian to declare himself Caliph. So, here I am.
I'm telling Christians not to get excited in the sense of "Don't get a big head," or "Do not take my declaration as Caliph to mean you can do what you want."
Same thing I told the Muslims: Stop your nonsense.
Work together as Christians. We are too divided. Protestants versus Catholics, Protestants versus Protestants... Stop it. Divided we fall.
And be nice to the Poles.
I am now Caliph. The world must do things my way.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Did You Get the Memo?
Don't make the Caliph angry. You won't like it when he sends his Secret Police and Revolutionary Guard to you in the middle of the night. [Note to self: Conscript and organize the SP&RG 'cause I really need to sleep instead of spend my nights posting night letters on doors. There are just too many doors.]
When I told my "former" supervisor at Walmart that I am now Caliph of All the World and I won't be able to stock shelves and sweep floors at Walmart anymore, he just laughed and told me to get back to work.
My so-called "land lord" laughed at me, too, when I told him I didn't have to pay rent.
Walmart wasn't laughing so much when they told me I had to pay for the cartload of groceries. Why should the Caliph have to pay for groceries? For that matter, why is the Caliph shopping in the first place? I should have menions for that, henchmen who hench and such. I had to take the 3 cartloads of electronics back 'cause I didn't have enough money for all of those flatscreen TVs and laptops and DVDs and iPod Touches.
The County Sherrif's Deputy was not very amused as I tried to explain to the clerk at Chevron that, as Caliph, I get all of my gas free of charge.
What is wrong with these people? Don't they know I am Caliph of All the World? Didn't they get the memo?
Note to self: Get the Caliphate Council up and running, especially the PR dude/dudette. The PR dude/dudette really needs to get the memo out to everyone so there will be no further "confusion" about such matters.
Plus, the world owes me back pay for my time as Caliph. In order to end poverty, I am only demanding US$100K per day. Come on. That's not that much really. Especially when compared with the deficit of the United States of America.
That reminds me---I really need to get my budget guys/gals to work. Can you imagine the cost of beauty products for my harem? Really need those budget guys/gals on that right away.
BTW, Walmart says I have to be back there tomorrow, too. So, for now, this Caliph continues to play the pauper, mingling with the little people. Little people in the sense of "not much money/power/influence," not literal... Oh, you know what I mean. Don't pretend you don't.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
When I told my "former" supervisor at Walmart that I am now Caliph of All the World and I won't be able to stock shelves and sweep floors at Walmart anymore, he just laughed and told me to get back to work.
My so-called "land lord" laughed at me, too, when I told him I didn't have to pay rent.
Walmart wasn't laughing so much when they told me I had to pay for the cartload of groceries. Why should the Caliph have to pay for groceries? For that matter, why is the Caliph shopping in the first place? I should have menions for that, henchmen who hench and such. I had to take the 3 cartloads of electronics back 'cause I didn't have enough money for all of those flatscreen TVs and laptops and DVDs and iPod Touches.
The County Sherrif's Deputy was not very amused as I tried to explain to the clerk at Chevron that, as Caliph, I get all of my gas free of charge.
What is wrong with these people? Don't they know I am Caliph of All the World? Didn't they get the memo?
Note to self: Get the Caliphate Council up and running, especially the PR dude/dudette. The PR dude/dudette really needs to get the memo out to everyone so there will be no further "confusion" about such matters.
Plus, the world owes me back pay for my time as Caliph. In order to end poverty, I am only demanding US$100K per day. Come on. That's not that much really. Especially when compared with the deficit of the United States of America.
That reminds me---I really need to get my budget guys/gals to work. Can you imagine the cost of beauty products for my harem? Really need those budget guys/gals on that right away.
BTW, Walmart says I have to be back there tomorrow, too. So, for now, this Caliph continues to play the pauper, mingling with the little people. Little people in the sense of "not much money/power/influence," not literal... Oh, you know what I mean. Don't pretend you don't.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
Friday, October 15, 2010
Muslims: Don't Get Excited
Look, just because I have declared myself Caliph does not mean I will look kindly upon you.
I am Caliph of All the World. I make the rules for the entire world. You do what I say; I don't do what you say.
Here are a few suggestions for Muslims to gain the Caliph's favor:
1. Stop your nonsence.
2. IF you are a "Religion of Peace," stop issuing a death warrant, or fatwa as you call it, every time someone tells you to stop your nonsence.
3. If you are a "Religion of Peace," stop your angry rallies in which you carry signs such as "If you mock Islam, you must DIE!!!" Come on. For reals??? An alleged "Religion of Peace" making death threats every time a "non-believer" sneezes? Oh, the drama. Get over it.
4. If you are a "Religion of Peace," stop the suicide bombings, the car bombings, the terror against those you call "non-believers," the ramming of hijacked airliners into skyscrapers, and on and on. A true "Religion of Peace" does not do such things.
Are you starting to get an idea about why you do not have the Caliph's favor?
5. Stop the Honor Killings. In the United States, you have killed too many pretty girls in the name of your "Religion of Peace." If you do not want your children to become too "Westernized," THEN DON'T MOVE TO A WESTERN COUNTRY!!! Simple. DUH!!!
6. All Imams and Mullahs and Ayatollahs and other such individuals must be approved by the Caliphate and must have all of their sermons approved by the Caliphate. No more preaching until you receive your Official License to Preach from the Caliphate.
Basically, should you wish to gain the Caliph's favor, exit the Americas, Europe, China, India, Australia, Everywhere and gather in Arabia. That's where you started. Gather there and await further instructions from the Caliphate.
I am the Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity. I don't have to be Muslim. See the first post for an article about that. And despite the fact that Caliph is a Muslim thing, I am Caliph; I make the rules; and your job is to obey. So, obey already!
Caliph Gary Gray, Supreme Leader
I am Caliph of All the World. I make the rules for the entire world. You do what I say; I don't do what you say.
Here are a few suggestions for Muslims to gain the Caliph's favor:
1. Stop your nonsence.
2. IF you are a "Religion of Peace," stop issuing a death warrant, or fatwa as you call it, every time someone tells you to stop your nonsence.
3. If you are a "Religion of Peace," stop your angry rallies in which you carry signs such as "If you mock Islam, you must DIE!!!" Come on. For reals??? An alleged "Religion of Peace" making death threats every time a "non-believer" sneezes? Oh, the drama. Get over it.
4. If you are a "Religion of Peace," stop the suicide bombings, the car bombings, the terror against those you call "non-believers," the ramming of hijacked airliners into skyscrapers, and on and on. A true "Religion of Peace" does not do such things.
Are you starting to get an idea about why you do not have the Caliph's favor?
5. Stop the Honor Killings. In the United States, you have killed too many pretty girls in the name of your "Religion of Peace." If you do not want your children to become too "Westernized," THEN DON'T MOVE TO A WESTERN COUNTRY!!! Simple. DUH!!!
6. All Imams and Mullahs and Ayatollahs and other such individuals must be approved by the Caliphate and must have all of their sermons approved by the Caliphate. No more preaching until you receive your Official License to Preach from the Caliphate.
Basically, should you wish to gain the Caliph's favor, exit the Americas, Europe, China, India, Australia, Everywhere and gather in Arabia. That's where you started. Gather there and await further instructions from the Caliphate.
I am the Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity. I don't have to be Muslim. See the first post for an article about that. And despite the fact that Caliph is a Muslim thing, I am Caliph; I make the rules; and your job is to obey. So, obey already!
Caliph Gary Gray, Supreme Leader
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
All the World,
Behold, I, Gary Gray, hereby announce that I am Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity.
No, I am not Muslim.
"But," you must be asking, "if Caliph is the spiritual and temproal successor to Muhammad, how can a non-Muslim become Caliph?"
Read this article first.
Behold, I, Gary Gray, hereby announce that I am Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity.
No, I am not Muslim.
"But," you must be asking, "if Caliph is the spiritual and temproal successor to Muhammad, how can a non-Muslim become Caliph?"
Read this article first.
Minister wants Obama to become Ameer-ul-Momineen
Source: OUR STAFF REPORTER September 2, 2010ISLAMABAD – In a development that could be duly termed as one and only of its kind, an incumbent Government’s Minister has urged US President Barrack Obama to offer Eid prayers at Ground Zero Mosque and become “Ameer-ul-Momineen” of Muslim Ummah.
Minister of State for Industries and former member Pakistan Ideological Council Ayatullah Durrani called TheNation on Wednesday to register his demand made to President Obama.
“The coming Eid would expectedly be observed on 9/11, this a golden opportunity for President Obama to offer Eid prayers at Ground Zero and become Amir-ul-Momineen or Caliph of Muslims. In this way, all the problems of Muslim World would be solved,” he thought.
Durrani argued that Muslim World was in “dire need” of a Caliph and the distinguished slot of Caliphate would earn President Obama the exemplary titles of what he termed, “Mullah Barrack Hussain Obama” or “Allama Obama.” “The time is approaching fast. Barrack Hussain Obama must act now. This is a golden opportunity, Muslims badly need it,” he added, saying that the elevation of President Obama to Muslim’s Caliphate would be the “key to success.”
http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online//Regional/02-Sep-2010/Minister-wants-Obama-to-become-AmeerulMomineen
Minister of State for Industries and former member Pakistan Ideological Council Ayatullah Durrani called TheNation on Wednesday to register his demand made to President Obama.
“The coming Eid would expectedly be observed on 9/11, this a golden opportunity for President Obama to offer Eid prayers at Ground Zero and become Amir-ul-Momineen or Caliph of Muslims. In this way, all the problems of Muslim World would be solved,” he thought.
Durrani argued that Muslim World was in “dire need” of a Caliph and the distinguished slot of Caliphate would earn President Obama the exemplary titles of what he termed, “Mullah Barrack Hussain Obama” or “Allama Obama.” “The time is approaching fast. Barrack Hussain Obama must act now. This is a golden opportunity, Muslims badly need it,” he added, saying that the elevation of President Obama to Muslim’s Caliphate would be the “key to success.”
http://www.nation.com.pk/pakistan-news-newspaper-daily-english-online//Regional/02-Sep-2010/Minister-wants-Obama-to-become-AmeerulMomineen
So, in light of this article, it is obvious that Muslims seem to think that a Christian can declare himself Caliph. If Barack Hussein Obama is Christian, as he claims in his transparence, and if this Pakistani government official seems to think that a professed Christian can become Caliph, then I should be able to declare myself Caliph.
Unfortunately, President Obama, Walmart, and basically the entire world did not get the memo that I am now Caliph. (Note to self: Get new Public Affiairs person.)
And that is the purpose of this blog: to inform All the World that I am now Caliph.
So, bow down in fear and tremble before me!!! You must do as I say.
Gary Gray, Caliph of All the World, Supreme Leader for Time and for All Eternity
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)